sadness
These days we tend to feel sad about so many things - that someone treated us badly, that we didn't get something we wanted, that a loved-one has passed away. The list of things we feel sad about is endless.
However, are we giving sadness its due? Do these things warrant the type of sadness we give to them, and do we funnel our sadness in the correct way? What is the REAL reason that any one of us has to be sad about? This seems like a very convoluted question, so let's make it simpler;
A little girl, two years old, is in a store with her mother and sees something she wants, so she asks for it. When the mother says no, the child begins to cry, moan, sometimes shriek the store down in an effort to get what she wants! In some cases the parent gives in and gives the child what she wants, and there is peace. The child stops crying and beams that they've gotten what they wanted. On the other hand, if the parent says no, the initial caterwauling will soon subside into some unexplainable sadness at how much the child has been wronged by her cruel parent...
Now let's try to apply this to our initial list of saddening things. Are adults any different? We tend to have this sadness and dispair when things don't go our way. We get deep feelings that we have been wronged, and sometimes the fact that we are blaming this on someone is imperceptible, even to ourselves. Nevertheless we are focussing our anger on someone, and who? We are really blaming God for our misfortune! (no matter what faith we ascribe to, this still holds true - we're interested in realities here, not opinion)
For so many things in our life, we allow ourselves to become buried in sadness about all those things which we cannot control, but that oftentimes go against our desires. When a loved-one passes away, they go to their own judgement, and we assume the 'bereaved stance'. Now, bereavement is fine for a reasonable period to let the initial shock sink in, but some let their whole life become focussed on their dead former companion. They grieve for years and years and never find any solace. They cry and ask why and get lost in nostalgia of days gone by, spiraling into a vortex of self-pity and anguish.
Wouldn't it be more productive, when one watches a cortege pass by, to imagine yourself in that box, or under that shroud, going towards your grave? Yes, death is inevitable. It is something we cannot avoid. So why not use the experience of still being alive to make a resolution to better our own lives, so that death doesn't take us unprepared, as it has so many before us.
How do we do that? Well, we can start by getting our sadnesses in order. What IS a good reason to be sad? There is a type of sadness that promotes action, that increases the effort put in by an individual so that s/he can be slightly more certain that their actions can be accepted. It stems also from having due fear of God most high, who created us and will also destroy us. He has the power to do as He wills.
Some of the pious people have been known to be so afraid that their devotional deeds might not be accepted that they never took glee in the stations they reached - in piety or God-consciousness. Even when it was apparent to the people around them that they were truly heavenly individuals, they would not let this sway them from increasing their devotions.
Look closely at the example of our master and best of God's creation Muhammad (Peace be upon him), when he used to stand in prayer for the whole night until his feet swelled and his skin split. His companions asked him, 'Oh Prophet of Allah, why do you do this to yourself when all of your sins have been forgiven?' His reply was simple, 'Should I not be a grateful slave to Allah?'
Taking from his example, his companions led such amazing and austere lives realising that this life is a place of sadness. (Were not our father and mother Adam and Eve sent down to earth as a punishment?) After the death of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), his beloved companions, instead of wallowing in bereavement and self pity, mourning and letting the infant Islam perish, continued with the mission - and within two centuries Islam had spread from Morocco to China!
So dont let minor things put you in dispair. There is no place for self-pity. Look to the grave as your next resting-spot, and to an eternity beyond. Let your sadness be guided by that thought...
Peace be upon the sad ones.
However, are we giving sadness its due? Do these things warrant the type of sadness we give to them, and do we funnel our sadness in the correct way? What is the REAL reason that any one of us has to be sad about? This seems like a very convoluted question, so let's make it simpler;
A little girl, two years old, is in a store with her mother and sees something she wants, so she asks for it. When the mother says no, the child begins to cry, moan, sometimes shriek the store down in an effort to get what she wants! In some cases the parent gives in and gives the child what she wants, and there is peace. The child stops crying and beams that they've gotten what they wanted. On the other hand, if the parent says no, the initial caterwauling will soon subside into some unexplainable sadness at how much the child has been wronged by her cruel parent...
Now let's try to apply this to our initial list of saddening things. Are adults any different? We tend to have this sadness and dispair when things don't go our way. We get deep feelings that we have been wronged, and sometimes the fact that we are blaming this on someone is imperceptible, even to ourselves. Nevertheless we are focussing our anger on someone, and who? We are really blaming God for our misfortune! (no matter what faith we ascribe to, this still holds true - we're interested in realities here, not opinion)
For so many things in our life, we allow ourselves to become buried in sadness about all those things which we cannot control, but that oftentimes go against our desires. When a loved-one passes away, they go to their own judgement, and we assume the 'bereaved stance'. Now, bereavement is fine for a reasonable period to let the initial shock sink in, but some let their whole life become focussed on their dead former companion. They grieve for years and years and never find any solace. They cry and ask why and get lost in nostalgia of days gone by, spiraling into a vortex of self-pity and anguish.
Wouldn't it be more productive, when one watches a cortege pass by, to imagine yourself in that box, or under that shroud, going towards your grave? Yes, death is inevitable. It is something we cannot avoid. So why not use the experience of still being alive to make a resolution to better our own lives, so that death doesn't take us unprepared, as it has so many before us.
How do we do that? Well, we can start by getting our sadnesses in order. What IS a good reason to be sad? There is a type of sadness that promotes action, that increases the effort put in by an individual so that s/he can be slightly more certain that their actions can be accepted. It stems also from having due fear of God most high, who created us and will also destroy us. He has the power to do as He wills.
Some of the pious people have been known to be so afraid that their devotional deeds might not be accepted that they never took glee in the stations they reached - in piety or God-consciousness. Even when it was apparent to the people around them that they were truly heavenly individuals, they would not let this sway them from increasing their devotions.
Look closely at the example of our master and best of God's creation Muhammad (Peace be upon him), when he used to stand in prayer for the whole night until his feet swelled and his skin split. His companions asked him, 'Oh Prophet of Allah, why do you do this to yourself when all of your sins have been forgiven?' His reply was simple, 'Should I not be a grateful slave to Allah?'
Taking from his example, his companions led such amazing and austere lives realising that this life is a place of sadness. (Were not our father and mother Adam and Eve sent down to earth as a punishment?) After the death of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), his beloved companions, instead of wallowing in bereavement and self pity, mourning and letting the infant Islam perish, continued with the mission - and within two centuries Islam had spread from Morocco to China!
So dont let minor things put you in dispair. There is no place for self-pity. Look to the grave as your next resting-spot, and to an eternity beyond. Let your sadness be guided by that thought...
Peace be upon the sad ones.
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